Baby Mama drama... yes I have to put up with it sometimes
but then I always think to myself to just let it go,
and
Never be a part of their drama
Let him deal with her,
because if she starts to deal with me, all hell will break loose!
I just wanted to write this as a note to myself and remember every single moment that she has taken advantage of or what she is doing... Why we do not understand her?
after divorce
first she said to him was that she was going to file for more money...
my thoughts what a greedy bitch, she's thinking of wanting to get more money,
she's not filing for more time with her daughter, she's filing for more money
what does a real man to do? Stick to what the court says.
change of scheduling
we have accommodate on the weekend being Friday, Saturday, Sunday and during the week every Tuesday and Friday (use to be Thursday's, had to switch because she took a second job)
she took a second job, she doesn't need it, because she is a successful teacher at a private school who pays her very well.
Again she is being selfish, she chose more work rather than spend time with her daughter
She wants to keep switching weekends, I say NO... because I make it an effort and do accommodate for when we have her daughter.
She can't watch her when she has her daughter.
She has his step-father watch her daughter when it's not his time to watch her.
I say, get your own step-father... why not her real father watch her while she works.
why can't she prioritize? i don't understand.
and why does she always have to yell and cuss...
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
when you look back
What would've been?
After talking to one of my guy friend and seeing where he is in life,
it made me wonder what would happen if I was still single.
looking back,
I think I would be very lonely.
I don't think I would put myself in any situation the way he put himself out to a girl like that.
Getting hurt over and over again. I mean, I've been there that's the thing. Not once, but most of the time.
there was jealousy, disrespected, disloyal, distrust... All the "dis"
I dated so many guys that I thought, is there something wrong with me. How come they don't want to be serious with me?
then i wouldn't be able to trust or love anyone.
Then I learn to love me and that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me, love me for me, because i am not going to change me anymore.
I'm so glad I am so happy with my man.
or else
I would still be dating around.
I guess I am glad that happiness found me before i would loose myself in a world of undesirable.
Looking back,
I made the right decision,
I am forever more will be in love with the man that i always wanted.
He loves me and I love him
and that's all that matters
After talking to one of my guy friend and seeing where he is in life,
it made me wonder what would happen if I was still single.
looking back,
I think I would be very lonely.
I don't think I would put myself in any situation the way he put himself out to a girl like that.
Getting hurt over and over again. I mean, I've been there that's the thing. Not once, but most of the time.
there was jealousy, disrespected, disloyal, distrust... All the "dis"
I dated so many guys that I thought, is there something wrong with me. How come they don't want to be serious with me?
then i wouldn't be able to trust or love anyone.
Then I learn to love me and that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me, love me for me, because i am not going to change me anymore.
I'm so glad I am so happy with my man.
or else
I would still be dating around.
I guess I am glad that happiness found me before i would loose myself in a world of undesirable.
Looking back,
I made the right decision,
I am forever more will be in love with the man that i always wanted.
He loves me and I love him
and that's all that matters
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
What makes Happiness?
"The most important quality of marriageable person is a habit of happiness."
We must appreciate what we have.
something little, can be the biggest most memorable thing that can happen is happiness.
How do we handle circumstance beyond our control?
3 bad things
Resentment
Blame
Self-pity
When you feel bitter, you feel resentment, you will not be happy
When you blame someone for doing something wrong, etc, you will not be happy
When you feel sorry for yourself, because you are jealous or because someone is better than you, self-pity, you will not be happy
you have to go along with what you have, be happy of you are with
you cannot change anyone to what you want, either deal with it because you love 'em or be done with it
let go, let flow!
you will never be happy in life if you do not try.
when he bugs you so much, all you have to do is look at him and then a smile suddenly appears.
We must appreciate what we have.
something little, can be the biggest most memorable thing that can happen is happiness.
How do we handle circumstance beyond our control?
3 bad things
Resentment
Blame
Self-pity
When you feel bitter, you feel resentment, you will not be happy
When you blame someone for doing something wrong, etc, you will not be happy
When you feel sorry for yourself, because you are jealous or because someone is better than you, self-pity, you will not be happy
you have to go along with what you have, be happy of you are with
you cannot change anyone to what you want, either deal with it because you love 'em or be done with it
let go, let flow!
you will never be happy in life if you do not try.
when he bugs you so much, all you have to do is look at him and then a smile suddenly appears.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
How to love
it has been at least 10 months
I met all his family and he's met mine
we've lived together for 6 months
never met his baby mama, I don't think I will ever want to right now.
my feelings are still raw
his life meshed with mine,
his past meshed with mine,
How do you deal with it?
His family sometime puts a lot of pressure on me,
how I'm so good to him,
I treat him very well,
it's so much pressure to deal with someone who did not have a good past,
the past that you cannot let go of.
you cannot let go because there she is,
the little one
the little one that will forever be in our lives
How do I love her?
How do I love someone else's child?
shouldn't I deceive such creature,
shouldn't I be hating her, because she will forever be the priority
regardless if i bare a child, she will always be the first
the enviousness
the spitefulness of suffering that I bestow upon her in my evil mind
It'll be so rewarding, yet evil
or hate the mother that put the evil plans in him
Yet, I care for her.
I care for her being,
and hatred is evil and wrong
and I'm not like that
I put an effort on teaching her the right things, but then what? she goes off to her biological mother
what good am I?
They say, I will be her friend, I will be the role model
I will be the person she'll talk to when she can't tell her mother
OMG... HOW?!
Am i doing it right?
they say, I am
But
I just get so frustrated,
with her, her learning development
and I can't do anything about it,
but to care and try to love her
Because I love her daddy so much
It's so hard to love,
It's like in order to be love,
you have to learn to love someone else
It feels like I have to prove my love for her in order to be loved by him
knowing that you already love yourself
Because didn't we learn that in order to truly love someone or trust someone,
you must believe in yourself, love and trust yourself = happiness
Now, how do you love?
How to love?
I believe that the love we have from God, should be encrypted to show love for others
that your heart and your spirit is in one love from God
That is why with flaws of frustrations and anger... It is very hard to do.
This is hard.
I met all his family and he's met mine
we've lived together for 6 months
never met his baby mama, I don't think I will ever want to right now.
my feelings are still raw
his life meshed with mine,
his past meshed with mine,
How do you deal with it?
His family sometime puts a lot of pressure on me,
how I'm so good to him,
I treat him very well,
it's so much pressure to deal with someone who did not have a good past,
the past that you cannot let go of.
you cannot let go because there she is,
the little one
the little one that will forever be in our lives
How do I love her?
How do I love someone else's child?
shouldn't I deceive such creature,
shouldn't I be hating her, because she will forever be the priority
regardless if i bare a child, she will always be the first
the enviousness
the spitefulness of suffering that I bestow upon her in my evil mind
It'll be so rewarding, yet evil
or hate the mother that put the evil plans in him
Yet, I care for her.
I care for her being,
and hatred is evil and wrong
and I'm not like that
I put an effort on teaching her the right things, but then what? she goes off to her biological mother
what good am I?
They say, I will be her friend, I will be the role model
I will be the person she'll talk to when she can't tell her mother
OMG... HOW?!
Am i doing it right?
they say, I am
But
I just get so frustrated,
with her, her learning development
and I can't do anything about it,
but to care and try to love her
Because I love her daddy so much
It's so hard to love,
It's like in order to be love,
you have to learn to love someone else
It feels like I have to prove my love for her in order to be loved by him
knowing that you already love yourself
Because didn't we learn that in order to truly love someone or trust someone,
you must believe in yourself, love and trust yourself = happiness
Now, how do you love?
How to love?
I believe that the love we have from God, should be encrypted to show love for others
that your heart and your spirit is in one love from God
That is why with flaws of frustrations and anger... It is very hard to do.
This is hard.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Fear
The biggest fear we both have...
I think the biggest fear we both have is losing each other.
We are both so in-love with each other,
we both don't want each other to get hurt--emotionally and physically.
We fear what is unreal.
Because of our past,
we sometimes tend to imagine that all the arguments, all the cheating, the lying, the put-downs, the abusiveness...
will happen again,
We fear the past so much,
we bring it up in our present lives, and can be brought to our future,
We fear that our feelings of insecurities, doubts, jealousy, hatred will come back
These fear are sometime, what makes a strong relationship.
Fear will hurt your relationship, if you allow it to come in your lives.
I think the biggest fear we both have is losing each other.
We are both so in-love with each other,
we both don't want each other to get hurt--emotionally and physically.
We fear what is unreal.
Because of our past,
we sometimes tend to imagine that all the arguments, all the cheating, the lying, the put-downs, the abusiveness...
will happen again,
We fear the past so much,
we bring it up in our present lives, and can be brought to our future,
We fear that our feelings of insecurities, doubts, jealousy, hatred will come back
These fear are sometime, what makes a strong relationship.
Fear will hurt your relationship, if you allow it to come in your lives.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Love Tank
As we read through "5 Love Languages" by Dr. Chapman
We begin our new journey,
With the book, we are learning what it was like,
the examples from the book reminded me of what it was like (the past),
and what it would be like,
not repeating our mistakes, and learn from it,
and what it is now,
We communicate the best way we can.
I can't hold things back,
we have to be honest with each other,
our feelings,
everything.
In order for us to fill up our love tank,
is to listen,
communicate,
and get to know each other and how we can make each other happy.
Happy self,
happy man,
happy life,
happy love.
We begin our new journey,
With the book, we are learning what it was like,
the examples from the book reminded me of what it was like (the past),
and what it would be like,
not repeating our mistakes, and learn from it,
and what it is now,
We communicate the best way we can.
I can't hold things back,
we have to be honest with each other,
our feelings,
everything.
In order for us to fill up our love tank,
is to listen,
communicate,
and get to know each other and how we can make each other happy.
Happy self,
happy man,
happy life,
happy love.
Monday, December 16, 2013
My New Love
My New Love
This is it.
My hope, my dreams,
He's "the one"
"The One" that I mentioned during my broken heart
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